The beginning and the end of a path of holiness consists in constantly abandoning yourself to God’s will: “Your will be done,” “Into Your hands I commend my spirit.” It is an act of mercy for your own self, because it permits you to rest.
The taste of helplessness is bitter, but it is very necessary if you wish to penetrate the mystery of abandonment to God. You cannot abandon yourself if you do not know that you are in need. Savoring our helplessness, failures, weaknesses and continual falls at all times is no more than the means God uses to show Himself in order to reach you. “Without Me you can do nothing.” This is a truth we must experience in our life in order to take it in.
There is no method or formula to let go of the things that worry or unsettle us interiorly to make us trust. No! It is rather a constant battle of not letting ourselves be dragged down and asking God humbly for His mercy and His help: "Lord, you know what it's like to be in the desert, give me your hand and come with me."
We must have a holy patience, not only with others, but also with ourselves, yet without letting this cause us to slacken in the fight. You might fall continually into the same error, and the fight becomes exhausting and makes you upset, angry or hate yourself. But it is precisely those moments which are a treasure for invoking God’s name. His Holy Spirit is the One who sanctifies all things, not our great desire to achieve something. This doesn’t mean that you can stop fighting, but that it is a continual battle to abandon yourself to God.
Prayer, the sacraments and spiritual direction are firm beacons of light in situations of turmoil and the most direct means God uses to give you grace to face your battles with peace, serenity, strength and simplicity. He can give you all this and more! You only need an open heart He can pour these graces into.
We conquer God’s heart when we abandon ourselves to his providence, his loving care, because it is an act of humility. This is a virtue the Lord loves. Thanks to humility, we acknowledge that everything good comes from Him. Who are prophets, if not people who knew how to reach God’s heart, because their will was united to His, and so were able to obtain everything they asked of Him?
So don’t get yourself into a mess and go to what is essential and important. Don’t just stand there looking that what you’re missing or possibilities and fantasies that we come up with sometimes. Abandon yourself to God. His grace doesn’t depend on time or space. He always gives grace, no matter what situation you may be in.
-Ana Belén Parrales